Revision Goals

My mind is already spinning with all the things I need to do to fix my manuscript, and there are many. Right now I'm mainly thinking of big things like combining characters, adding a character, fixing a subplot. I'll think about smaller things like adding more description, avoiding the passive voice and not repeating information to the reader later.

1. Combine the characters of Wilhenn and Jorrniss. Wilhenn's character is to provide conflict; he is someone who causes trouble for Mavelle. Jorrniss's main purpose is to provide information, though he also helps Mavelle deal with Wilhenn. I think one character can perform both these roles and also be more interesting. If Wilhenn doesn't like Mavelle, doesn't believe in her, it will be MORE interesting for him to end up being the one to provide so much useful information.

2. Figure out what to do about the gods. In earlier drafts of my manuscript, there are "interludes" from the gods' POV in which they discuss their plans. These are very short and most readers disliked them. I stopped using them for the last 2/3 of the novel and am not sure they would fit as well there anyway. But without the Interludes, I feel the first part of the book is lacking something. Also the purpose and actions of the gods become more inscrutable to the reader without them. If I bring Benny's POV up earlier in the novel this could help take care of this, BUT I'd need to someone work in the gods into conversations with his brother. I'm not sure about this. Perhaps it is enough for Mavelle to be thinking about the purpose of the gods' actions?

3. Expand on the sections of Benny's POV and move them closer to the beginning of the novel. I need to introduce the character of Lovak in these sections and develop Chera's character more early as she becomes more important later, more important than i thought she'd be.

4. The earlier scenes from Amaris's POV need to be reworked some to make her sound older, more confident and drop hints about what could otherwise be an unfair surprise later.

5. Mavelle's relationship with Tavin needs to be worked on. I think I can build tension without being so explicit early on. It will bring more impact to the scene where they finally get together if there aren't so many make-out scenes earlier. I'm definitely keeping the one in the cave however.

6. I think Rylin will be more effective if I introduce him later and make him Chera's husband rather than her brother. That way I can take him out of the Sharlis incident and clean that whole sequence up some. I think he can be introduced in Hydrelt instead. He will have been pestering the cantellissima there for help and either she can bring him and Mavelle together or it can come as a surprise.

7. Bea's character needs to be move developed. After she serves her purpose I kind of drop her. If that's all she's good for, I should find out some other way to do it and cut her. Otherwise she needs a more important role in the end.

8. Georth needs to be more developed as well, I think.

9. There is a dip in tension between when they reach Hydrelt and they flee for the hidden city. I think this will be helped by introducing Rylin later, but I need to make sure the story keeps moving here.

10. The other men from Brom need to be move developed so when they die it is more painful. I'm not sure how I will do this, but it needs to be done.

I'm sure there are many other things that I will think of, but this is plenty enough for me to start with. All right, my plan of attack. I'm going to read through the whole manuscript, noting places where I can do some of these things and other places where the tension is low or there are problems, without actually stopping to fix them. Once I have done that read through, then I will go through and work on all these things.

There we go. Time to get started.